


be gay do witchcraft

by blights



Series: all i wanted stuff [2]
Category: The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Author is also sleep deprived, Crack, F/F, FUCK I T NOBODY'S CISHET, Fluff, Kinda, Multi, No Plot/Plotless, Pining, Rated teen for language, Texting, any pronouns amity, author is gay and pining over fictional characters leave them alone, chat, dont know how that happened but it did, idk what else, if there are mistakes im sorry but also im not, non-binary luz, the story of this fic is seperate from all i wanted but they're the same ppl, there's angst now?, they're in their beta designs but that's not rlly relevant to this fic, uhh, yes i did that and i don’t regret anything
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:41:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 9,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27036607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blights/pseuds/blights
Summary: it's basically just chaotic gays in a gc
Relationships: Amity Blight & Luz Noceda & Willow Park & Gus Porter, Amity Blight/Luz Noceda, Boscha/Willow Park, Boscha/Willow Park/Skara, Edric Blight/Jerbo, Emira Blight/Viney, Luz Noceda & Willow Park & Gus Porter, Mattholomule/Gus Porter, Willow Park/Skara, fuck it - Relationship, i love them - Relationship, willow is poly? always has been.
Series: all i wanted stuff [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1973224
Comments: 111
Kudos: 483





	1. hello lgbtq community

**luzura created a chat “hello lgbtq community”  
10:04 AM**

luzura: how does one talk to Pretty Girl

plant ladie: do you,,, mean,,,, amity,,,

luzura: yes

illusion man: idk just don’t tell her that her hair is messy

illusion man: trust me i know from experience

luzura: oh yikes

luzura: but uh

luzura: OH SHIT

luzura: oh she’s coming over

luzura: help

plant ladie: maybe like

plant ladie: give her a compliment???

illusion man: i think skara told me once that amity likes fire

illusion man: u guys should commit arson together

luzura: that is

luzura: A GREAT IDEA

plant ladie: LUZ DO NOT LISTEN TO GUS WE CANNOT BAIL YOU OUT OF JAIL FOR ARSON AGAIN

luzura: that was one time i’ll be fine!

plant ladie: gus this is all your fault

illusion man: sigh i know

**11:17 AM**

luzura: so

plant ladie: how’d it go

illusion man: did u get a gf

luzura: no i did not BUT

illusion man: ooh there’s a but

plant ladie: luz what’s the but

luzura: i told her

luzura: “hey blight! looking pretty snazzy”

luzura: and she looked at me like i was

luzura: an alien or something

plant ladie: omg

illusion man: LMAOOO YOU SAID SHE LOOKED SNAZZY???

illusion man: IM CRYINGGGG

luzura: SSHHSHSHSHHSHUTTTTT UPPPPPP

plant ladie: LOOKING PRETTY SNAZZY???? REALLY?????

luzura: SHUT UP I WAS PANICKING

plant ladie: i cannot believe

plant ladie: you do realize that we will never let this go right

luzura: sadly yes

illusion man: snazzy

**illusion man changed luzura’s name to snazzy**

snazzy: i hate it here

**snazzy changed their name to luzura**

luzura: yo do y’all wanna go to that bakery later

illusion man: yes!!! they have the best scones there

plant ladie: hhhh i really wanna go but my dads are going out to eat tonight

plant ladie: it’s my papa’s bday today :D

luzura: omg!! tell him i said happy birthday!

illusion man: same!!!

plant ladie: dslkjaflsd he said thanks

plant ladie: also you two are welcome to come over and celebrate with us

illusion man: oooo yes!

luzura: oh hell yeah

illusion man: luz can u drive me

luzura: sure thing

illusion man: that’s pretty ~snazzy~ of you if i do say so myself

luzura: maybe i won’t pick you up

illusion man: NO PLS ILL STOP

luzura: ok! i’ll be there in ten


	2. what

**amity created a chat “what”  
10:54 PM**

amity: hi

amity: so

amity: uh

amity: i need help

willow: with what?

willow: also y is ed and em here

willow: but not luz

willow: omg is this abt ur crush on luz

ed is kool: i heard crush and zoomed to my phone

em to the b: lol same

amity: don’t make me regret adding you two

em to the b: oh but we will

em to the b: also shouldn’t you be asleep??

ed is kool: yeah it’s monday and almost 11

amity: shhhh

willow: so about ur crush on luz

ed is kool: oh??

amity: no i don’t have a crush on her

em to the b: ah so you’re in the denial stage

em to the b: u’ll realize it soon honey

amity: realize what

ed is kool: that you are

em to the b: gay as fuck

amity: i’m

willow: amity i love ur siblings

em to the b: love u too girlie

ed is kool: yes what emira said

em to the b: o fuck we have a bio test tomorrow

ed is kool: FUCK

ed is kool: lol good luck with ur crush mittens

amity: u were no help anyway smh

willow: anyways what did u need? i need to go to sleep

amity: do u think luz likes me?

amity: i mean like

amity: idek if she likes girls

willow: bro,,,,

willow: she literally has a bi flag in her room and on her backpack

amity: THAT’S WHAT IT MEANS????? UGGGHHHH HOW DID I NOT KNOWWWW

willow: did u seriously

willow: not know

amity: NO?????

willow: eye

willow: goodnight

amity: hhhhgnnngnglasfjdslkfjds ok goodnight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i should be asleep or at least doing work but i made this


	3. this is chaos i'm sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i don't even know anymore

**em to the b created a chat “ppl who listen to mother mother”  
2:56 AM**

luz: how did you

luz: how do you know

em to the b: i had a hunch

amity: ok but why am i here

amity: i’ve never even heard of mother mother before

ed is kool: what r ur pronouns

amity: idk

amity: i’m fine with any really

luz: o, mg, ,, y,ou g o by,, any,, pronouns? ?? th ats, so co ol

amity: i STRUGGLED to read that

amity: there is not one person in this family who is straight apparently

luz: hell yeah!! end the bloodline!!!

em to the b: yeah!!!!

ed is kool: lets gooooo

amity: no more blights 2020

luz: wait no-

em to the b: no i agree

ed is kool: same

luz: are y’all ok???

amity: lol no

em to the b: nope!

ed is kool: when have we ever been ok

luz: i

.

**be gay do witchraft  
9:32 PM**

luzura: hey gays

luzura: so

luzura: i was thinking

amity: you were thinking???

luzura: pain

luzura: anyways

luzura: we should cancel homework

plant ladie: i agree

illusion man: same

amity: honestly,,, same

luzura: right like i do not need this toxicty in my life

luzura: how to spell toxicity

luzura: fuck yeah i got it

plant ladie: luz i thought we agreed on no cursing in this chat

luzura: oh shit yeah sorry

luzura: WAIT FUCK

luzura: SHIT UHH

luzura: AHHH

**luzura left the chat**

illusion man: SOMEONE ADD HER BACK SLKAFHJDKLSFHKLDA

amity: LMAOOODSASFKHDSDAKLFH

plant ladie: OH MY GOD

**plant ladie added luz to the chat**

luz: IM SORRY

luz: I PANICKED

**luz changed their name to luzura**

plant ladie: we all make mistakes in life

amity: like my mom

luzura: are you-

luzura: are you ok??

amity: that’s a secret i’ll never tell

illusion man: what day is it today

luzura: i think it’s uhhhh

luzura: i think it’s a carrot

plant ladie: it’s friday

amity: oh fuck yeah

amity: wait,,,,

amity: i’ll see myself out

luzura: good luck on ur joruny brave adventerur

plant ladie: how did you spell those that bad

luzura: pls i’m just tired

plant ladie: then go to sleep???

luzura: sleep is for losers

plant ladie: luz go to sleep

luzura: ahhhhhhh ok fine

luzura: goodnight

plant ladie: goodnight!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'know i'm kinda just- like- ok this is just based off of conversations i've had with my friends


	4. amity wtf are you doing gayass

**be gay do witchcraft  
4:03 AM**

luzura: stream wap

plant ladie: ITS FOUR IN THE FUCKING MORNING GO TO SLEEP

luzura: gasp

luzura: did willow just curse?? what a twist

illusion man: maybe it’s bc u don’t take care of yourself and stay up until like 4am literally everyday

luzura: yeah probably

amity: ahwt

amity: it’s too early for this

plant ladie: i agree with amity

plant ladie: do you guys wanna ft or smth??

luzura: yes yes yes yes

**luzura started videocall that lasted 3 hours**

luzura: gooooood mythical morning  
**7:36 AM**

amity: i cannot believe i had to wake up to your dog barking and then read that with my own two eyes

amity: also luz you slept for like three hours how are you so awake

luzura: ~magic~

luzura: also i drink a lot of coffee

amity: there’s no way that’s good for you

luzura: hsdjkafhdsjklafds yeah

plant ladie: morning

illusion man: good morning!

illusion man: who wants their morning fun fact?

luzura: ooh i do!

amity: what the hell is a morning fun fact

illusion man: it’s a morning fun fact i thought this was obvious

amity: i’m intrigued

amity: go on

illusion man: fun fact- the moon has moonquakes just like the earth has earthquakes, they just aren’t as common

luzura: YOOO

luzura: i now want to experience a moonquake

amity: wait that’s lowkey cool

plant ladie: gus how are you so smart

illusion man: i just am

plant ladie: great answer i now trust you with my life

illusion man: you didn’t before???

plant ladie: you ate the last slice of cake at my bday party four years ago, of course i didn’t

illusion man: ah makes sense

luzura: omg we should make moonpops

amity: what

luzura: cake pops but they look like moons

plant ladie: yes

plant ladie: i agree 100%

illusion man: omg yes

amity: wait

amity: like rn?

luzura: why not

luzura: y’all aren’t doing anything today right

plant ladie: rude to assume that i’m not busy

plant ladie: but yeah i can do it rn

illusion man: i’m free

luzura: wbu mittens?

amity: i love you

amity: WAIT

amity: FUCK

amity: I DIDNT MEAN TO SEND THAT

plant ladie: LMAIFGOPAHTWJEROIGPHJSAKLFHJDSLAKGHJF

illusion man: HHHIASIOHOFEIWOAHRFLSAGHFJ

luzura: love you too mitty but are you gonna make the moonpops with us or not

amity: mitty? really?

luzura: ur avoiding my question

plant ladie: ARE WE JUST GONNA IGNORE WHAT AMITY SAID ORRR????

amity: yes we are ignoring it

amity: it didn’t happen

amity: and yes noceda, ig i’ll make the pops with you guys

luzura: HELL YEAH

luzura: my place?

plant ladie: sure

illusion man: ok

amity: kk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol luz thought she meant that platonically,,, if only she knew,,,,


	5. (ps. it's a date)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> idk

**be gay do witchcraft  
4:08 PM**

luzura: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

plant ladie: u good

luzura: yes screaming is just very fun

amity: honestly mood

illusion man: gay

amity: I SAID TWO WORDS

illusion man: amity your whole aura is basically a rainbow

amity: sigh i hate it here

luzura: who would mittens even be gay for

amity: …

illusion man: HAHHFDDJSKAHLFDLKSAFH

plant ladie: luz do u srsly not know

luzura: no??

plant ladie: nah i’m staying out of this

luzura: that was so unhelpful

luzura: damn now i wanna know who blight has a crush on

luzura: who’s the lucky person

amity: THERE IS NO LUCKY PERSON I DONT HAVE A CRUSH

luzura: aw man

luzura: heart been broke so many times

illusion man: this is what i mean by gay

plant ladie: amity have you heard that song called little miss perfect

amity: no but i’m scared now

plant ladie: the song is literally

plant ladie: you

amity: ok i’m gonna listen to it

luzura: oh i’ve heard that song before

illusion man: yeah it’s a good song

amity: oh my god

amity: that

amity: IS THIS ABOUT BEING IN THE CLOSET??

luzura: HAHAHHDFSKJAFHDASKHF

plant ladie: pls don’t kill me

amity: you have fifteen minutes

plant ladie: OH SHOOT

illusion man: KJLDSFJDSLAJF

.

**be gay do witchcraft  
5:17 PM**

luzura: willow are you still alive

plant ladie: yuh

amity: she got away

illusion man: i spilled juice on my homework send help

luzura: like

luzura: actual juice

luzura: or

luzura: ~juice~

plant ladie: LUZ

luzura: WHAT I WAS JUST ASKING

amity: yeah gus i don’t think there’s any way to save ur homework

illusion man: cries

luzura: i kinda wanna go to target

amity: why

luzura: why not

amity: good point

amity: i wanna go with

luzura: alright

luzura: willow? gus? you guys wanna come too?

plant ladie: nah it can be like a date for you two

luzura: i hate you

luzura: gus pls

illusion man: srry fam i got hw

illusion man: lol good luck on ur date tho

amity: ITS NOT A DATE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm just now realizing that this doesnt really go with the story of all i wanted so as of now, they're separate stories with the same characters
> 
> (did that make sense?)


	6. girl in red is gay?

**be gay do witchcraft  
3:08 AM**

luzura: do you ever feel

luzura: like a plastic bag

amity: drifting through the wind

luzura: wanting to start again

amity: do you ever feel

luzura: feel so paper thin

amity: like a house of cards

luzura: one blow from caving in

luzura: DO YOU EVER FEEL

illusion man: ALREADY BURIED DEEP

amity: SIX FEET UNDERGROUND AND NO ONE SEEMS TO HEAR A THING

plant ladie: DO YOU KNOW THAT THERE’S STILL A CHANCE FOR YOU

luzura: CAUSE THERE’S A SPARK IN YOU

amity: and you just gotta ignitttteeee

luzura: the liiighhttt

illusion man: and leeeettt it shine

plant ladie: just ooowwwwnnn the niiigghthhtt

luzura: LIKE THE FOURTH OF JULY

amity: CAUSE BABY YOU'RE A FIIIIRREEEWOOORRKK

illusion man: COME ON SHOW EM WHAAAAAT YOURE WORTH

plant ladie: MAKE EM GO

luzura: AAAAAAAAHHH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

amity: are we really about to do this whole song

plant ladie: yeah we should be asleep LUZ

luzura: wowww calling me out i see how it is

illusion man: just be glad we weren’t singing like all star or something

luzura: OMG

plant ladie: no luz

luzura: you stink

plant ladie: anything to make you go to sleep faster<3

luzura: GASP IT WAS A TRICK

plant ladie: YES NOW SLEEP

luzura: WHAT DO I GET OUT OF IT

plant ladie: you could get even taller than amity and also you’ll be less tired

luzura: you had me at taller than mittens

amity: wow

luzura: haha shortie

amity: IM AVERAGE HEIGHT???

amity: omg i think gus fell back to sleep

amity: rip

luzura: i will be going to sleep and you should too

amity: i probably should but i can’t sleep oops

luzura: there’s a saying that if you can’t sleep it probably means someone is thinking about you

luzura: and that’s weird bc i haven’t been able to sleep lately

amity: wait omg same

luzura: dude what if there’s someone thinking about us

amity: haha yep

luzura: i’m so tired omg

luzura: i thought you said “da vinky”

amity: that looked nothing like da vinky

luzura: yeah that’s how tired i am

amity: GO TO SLEEP

luzura: ahhhh ok

luzura: goodnight

amity: goodnight

.

**ppl who listen to mother mother  
4:56 PM**

amity: so

amity: was anybody gonna tell me

amity: THAT GIRL IN RED IS A SAPPHIC ARTIST???

amity: WAS I JUST SUPPOSED TO FIGURE THIS OUT MYSELF??

em to the b: is it not obvious by the song “girls” that’s literally about being a lesbian

amity: i have never in my life heard that song before

luz: how in the world-

amity: IDK I THINK MY MOM RESTRICTS THE SONGS

ed is kool: ohhhh yeah i can’t listen to wap

ed is kool: when i look it up it’s just not there

luz: that’s a tragedy

luz: wap slaps

luz: that doesn’t sound right out of context

em to the b: KLJDSALFHDASDJFKL

amity: what’s a wap

luz: NO

ed is kool: mittens you don’t need to know

em to the b: no just no

amity: hmmm

amity: ok

luz: mittens i need help with the math hw bls

amity: ugh

amity: ok ft me

ed is kool: GAYYY

em to the b: HAH GAY

amity: OMFG

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the timeline of this fic makes 0 sense but when has life ever made sense


	7. hah you thought this would be fluff WELL YOU'RE WRONG

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE!! it's angst buckle up kiddos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (this is a short chapter dw)

**be gay do witchcraft  
7:23 PM**

amity: anyone wanna ft? i have hw and i can’t get it done if i’m not ranting to someone abt how much i hate school

luzura: i would but i can’t

amity: oh why?

luzura: not in the right headspace :/

luzura: sorry :(

amity: nah don’t apologise ur fine

amity: do you wanna talk about it?

luzura: idk

plant ladie: luz we’re always here if you need us

illusion man: yeah

luzura: idk

luzura: i’m just like

luzura: listening to music and it brought back some bad memories from my old school

luzura: it’s stupid ik

amity: no it’s not

amity: trust me ik how it feels

amity: ur not an idiot for feeling sad about memories

amity: we’re human

amity: it’s natural

luzura: yeah but it’s like

luzura: idk i just feel like i don’t have a reason to be sad so it makes me feel like i’m faking it and that makes me feel guilty, which makes me sad, so it’s just a cycle of sadness

plant ladie: you don’t need a reason to be sad, they’re your emotions. You can’t control them

illusion man: yeah and luz if anyone tells you otherwise then they’re wrong

luzura: yeah

luzura: but sometimes it’s like

luzura: idk some kid at my school told me i was overreacting so

luzura: i believed them

amity: ur not overreacting that kid is just a dumbass

plant ladie: yeah what amity said

plant ladie: luz ik the type of person you are and it’s not healthy to bottle up your feelings

illusion man: yeah and sometimes you just have to take a breath, count to ten, and remind yourself that you matter too

illusion man: it can be hard to do that sometimes but even if you don’t believe it, you need to remind yourself

illusion man: and there’s gonna be a day where you look back at those memories and recognize them as building blocks for who you are today

illusion man: and that’s important

luzura: yo gus that was

luzura: actually so good omfg

luzura: tysm i

luzura: i’m crying

plant ladie: do you want us to come over?

luzura: yes pls

amity: alright we’re on our way with some (dairy free) cake and all ur fav snacks

luzura: ugh i love you guys

illusion man: we luv u too sweetie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was very much just me venting into luz but uh we're gonna ignore that


	8. em is tired of ed's antics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what the title says

**be gay do witchcraft  
6:19 PM**

amity: currently at luz’s house and they keep playing sweater weather at full volume and yelling “i have the power of god and anime on my side”

amity: send help

plant ladie: what did you expect, you’re at LUZ’S house

illusion man: fr

luzura: it’s not my fault i hold that much power smh my head

amity: shaking my head my head

luzura: makes sense to me

amity: i’m

plant ladie: what they’re trying to say is-

illusion man: no no he’s saying that they-

amity: what i’m saying is-

luzura: question mark

illusion man: why are we questioning mark they’re innocent

luzura: idk mark is kinda sus to me

luzura: we should vote them out

plant ladie: *mark was not the imposter*

amity: oh damn rip mark

luzura: rip mark sorry we failed you

luzura: mittens why are you screaming

amity: we’re right next to each other why don’t you ask me

luzura: no

plant ladie: i just think that

illusion man: omg same because like

amity: y’all are killing me

luzura: wait no but

amity: omfg LUZ IF YOU DONT STOP PLAYING SWEATER WEATHER IM GONNA LOSE IT

luzura: hehe

amity: pain

plant ladie: ah young love

luzura: willow you’re the same age as us

plant ladie: and your point is? you gays act like five year olds so i think that makes up for it

plant ladie: yknow i didn't even mean to put gays but there’s no point in changing it if it’s right

illusion man: JFKLASFDSALKJF

amity: wowww

.

**luz created a chat “gay cat surpremacy”  
10:48**

luz: so

luz: i can explain

illusion man: i think you like catra just a bit too much

luz: shut

willow: eyyy

em to the b: omg catra yes love her

ed is kool: honored to be here

ed is kool: omg did i tell you guys that i found a bat yesterday

ed is kool: i’m keeping them in my room for now

amity: IS THAT WHY I HEARD SHRIEKING COMING FROM YOUR ROOM???

amity: GODDAMN I THOUGHT YOU WERE KILLING SOMEONE

ed is kool: only killing my will to live<3

luz: ed

ed is kool: yes

luz: sweetie

ed is kool: that’s me

luz: sweetheart

ed is kool: i have a bf😐😑😐

luz: BAHAHFDHDKSJFHDSJKLAFH

em to the b: PLSSS

amity: ED HAS A BF?

willow: LOOKING

gus: HELLO

ed is kool: noping outta here

**ed is kool left the chat**

luz: no no no they can’t get out of this that easily

**luz added ed is kool to the chat**

luz: heyyy

ed is kool: hiiii

em to the b: so ed

amity: got anything you want to share with that class?

ed is kool: not really lol

willow: who is the lucky dude

gus: someone stole your heart and we wanna make sure they aren’t gonna sell it for a hundred dollars less than the original price

luz: JLKSFJDAS GUS

gus: i’m v creative ik

amity: ed

ed is kool: who’s that not me

**ed is kool changed their name to Sarah**

Sarah: Idk who ed is sorry

luz: i mean

luz: that’s pretty convincing if i do say so for myself

amity: yes you’re saying it for yourself and yourself only

luz: rudeeee

em to the b: ok sarah

em to the b: you have ten seconds

Sarah: To do what

em to the b: run.

Sarah: OH SHIT


	9. rip emira

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao i gave up on putting the times

**gay cat surpremacy**

luz: OMG I HAVE A DOCTORS APPOINTMENT LATER

luz: NOOOO

willow: HAHAAA

gus: imagine having a doctors appointment wouldn’t be me

luz: ugh shut up ur just a hater

amity: why are you going to the doctor

luz: apparently having pain in ur knees 25/8 isn’t normal so

em to the b: obviously it’s not?????

luz: well how was i supposed to know that??????????

amity: i

willow: omfg

willow: i hope it’s nothing too bad

luz: same

luz: omg my mom just told me i need a flu shot too i hate it here

ed is kool: HAH good luck with that

luz: thanks ed

ed is kool: I’m always here for U🥺💕

luz: Besties 4 Eva🥺💕

ed is kool: Yessss🥺💕

amity: i hate both of you with my whole soul

em to the b: same

willow: me too

luz: gus don’t agree with them

gus: but i do

ed is kool: pain

amity: guess you could say

amity: that luz is

amity: luzing

luz: LMAOOOSDFHLASJFLA

amity: i regret my existence

em to the b: PLSSS

luz: hmm this caramel boba tastes weird

willow: luz what

luz: it’s so salty wtf

gus: r u sure that’s caramel????

luz: i mean

luz: it said caramel

luz: oh no eda just said she’ll talk to the workers

luz: ABORT ABORT

amity: what if it’s not caramel

amity: what if it’s like

amity: idek

luz: omfg

luz: it was teriyaki sauce

luz: instead of caramel

em to the b: LMAO

gus: how-

willow: that must’ve tasted horrible

luz: oh it did

luz: oh btw apparently i need therapy

amity: we already knew that

luz: no i meant physical therapy

luz: for my knees

gus: i mean

luz: no

gus: you do kinda

luz: shut

gus: need

luz: no

gus: therapy

luz: quitting

willow: well at least it’s nothing too bad

luz: yeah

luz: i kinda want crutches tho so that i can swing and kick ppl in the face

amity: i

amity: same

ed is kool: mittens didn’t you break ur ankle like three months ago

ed is kool: you still have the crutches right

amity: yeah i think why

amity: oh no

amity: no no no

luz: YES YES YES

willow: omg yes

gus: yes kick

amity: ok but only luz can use them

em to the b: ugh why does ur crush get to use them but not us

amity: EMIRA ISTG

em to the b: OH FUCK I MEANT FRIEND

em to the b: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAmittens pls don’t kill meHAAHAHHAHHAA

amity: i’m giving you a five second headstart

em to the b: uh

amity: 1

em to the b: OH MY FUCKING GOD

amity: 2

ed is kool: em ur so dead

amity: 3

luz: omg

willow: luz what do you have to say about this

amity: 4

luz: i think it’s uuuhhh i think it’s a carrot

amity: 5

gus: EM JUST RAN PAST MY HOUSE??? I LIVE TWO MILES AWAY??????

em to the b: I RUN FAST

amity: not fast enough

luz: i

willow: omg

ed is kool: rip emira

gus: rip

luz: rip

willow: rip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so the doctors appointment and boba thing actually happened to me, i've had pain in my right knee for like two years and just thoguht that it was normal but i went to the doctor and they said i need physical therapy so rip ig. and the boba thing omfg that shit was NASTY like imagine boba but super salty and slightly fishy


	10. wh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> leave me alone i'm just a luz kinnie in love with amity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!this chapter has a lot of caps in it!!

**hello lgbtq community**

luzura: I’M SO GAY WHAT THE FUCK

plant ladie: this is about amity

illusion man: the way that’s not even a question anymore, it’s a fact

luzura: HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FOCUS ON MY HOMEWORK IF SHE’S TAKING UP ALL OF MY MIND

luzura: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAFJFDSALKFJLSDAGLSA

illusion man: wow

illusion man: gay ppl am i right

plant ladie: gus aren’t u gay and ace???

illusion man: that’s irrelevant rn

illusion man: also ur gay too so you can’t call me gay

plant ladie: we’re all gay, luz is just the one in love

luzura: i just think that amity

plant ladie: i’m sure he thinks you too

luzura: REALLY???

plant ladie: wait do u srsly not know

luzura: not know what

illusion man: this is hopeless

plant ladie: i mean i can’t say anything for them but,,,, i’m pretty sure they like you too

luzura: one could dream

illusion man: YOU DON’T NEED TO DREAM?? IT’S SO OBVIOUS THAT Y’ALL LIKE EACH OTHER

luzura: a beautiful wish

plant ladie: gus i think they’re in denial

luzura: so deep in denial it’s unbelievable

illusion man: ur digging your own grave honey

luzura: AND I’D DO IT AGAIN BOP BOP BOP

plant ladie: i

.

**ppl who listen to mother mother**

luz: CATGENDER PRONOUNS GO BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

luz: or should i say purrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

amity: ignoring the horrible pun, what are those pronouns? they sound cool

luz: nya/nyaself and purr/purrself

amity: help that’s so cute

ed is kool: omg i love that sm luz

em to the b: yo those are so cute

luz: thank🙏

.

**what**

**amity added gus**

amity: SO

amity: IM VERY GAY HAHA

gus: we know

amity: rude

amity: ok so luz wants to go to a bakery together tomorrow and uh

amity: i’m kinda panicking

gus: did nya mean it like

gus: a date orrrr

amity: i think???? idk they said “meet me at the bakery tomorrow at 2, i need to tell you something” AND IM

amity: WHAT THE FUCK???

willow: aww baby’s first date

amity: WH

amity: NO

amity: IT’S NOT A DATE

em to the b: surrreee

amity: i hate it here

.

**gay cat surpremacy**

amity: hey luz look

amity: 3>

amity: wait fuck how do i turn the three around

luz: no ur supposed to use the other arrow thing

amity: nvm got it

amity: Ɛ>

luz: WAIT WHAT THE FUCK

willow: AMITY?????

gus: HOW DID

ed is kool: i

em to the b: luz ur gf is a witch

luz: we aren’t dating

amity: champagne without the cham

luz: what

amity: sigh

amity: nothing

luz: k den

willow: y’all cause me so much pain inside it is indescribable

luz: thanks i try

gus: luz you should show amity the playlist you made him

luz: OH YEAH

luz: here

luz: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6DbtrODq1KPgEotPUbOAuo?si=CuPezXO6S5y1gEoTvBZIUg

luz: it’s filled with songs that make me think abt you :3

amity: luz these are all love songs

luz: mhm

amity: did you mean to make the cover that

luz: yep

amity: k give me a sec

luz: uh ok

.

**what**

amity: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

willow: it’s happening

gus: the day that brings peace all around the world

em to the b: what would i do if i was amity

ed is kool: i’d die ngl

amity: ALREADY WAY AHEAD OF YOU ON THAT BUDDY

em to the b: SDLKJFDSLKAHFA

.

**gay cat surpremacy**

amity: luz

luz: that's me

amity: does this mean what i think it means

luz: well what do you think it means

amity: well it’s not like i’m gonna say it bc if i’m wrong it’ll be embarrassing

luz: yes

amity: wh

amity: wait fr

luz: yeah duh

amity: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADHSJKAFHA????

luz: HSDAJFLA

gus: so that happened

willow: ah young love

em to the b: aren’t y'all the same age

willow: yes but they act like five year olds so it must count for something

em to the b: true true

amity: LUZ

luz: YEAH

amity: I THINK I LIKE YOU

luz: YO SAME

luz: BUT I MEAN LIKE I LIKE YOU NOT I LIKE MYSELF

amity: JSFDALF IK

luz: SO WHAT DOES THIS MEAN

willow: ARE Y’ALL GONNA DATE OR NOT??

luz: O RIGHT

luz: AMITY WILL YOU BE MY UHH

luz: ARE YOU OK WITH ME CALLING YOU GIRLFRIEND?

amity: YES ALSO WHY ARE WE SCREAMING

luz: IDK I HAVE A LOT OF ENERGY AND SCREAMING MAKES IT BETTER

amity: UNDERSTANDABLE

willow: wow

willow: what the fuck it just got lighter outside

willow: that’s how much power you two hold

em to the b: wait no willow’s right

em to the b: wasn’t it supposed to rain later

em to the b: bc the sky is literally so clear

gus: omg

luz: wh

luz: amity are we still gonna go to the bakery tomorrow

amity: obvi dummy

luz: :D

ed is kool: gayass

amity: SHUT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes i DID make a playlist for this fic and i'm not ashamed


	11. king, viney, and jerbo join the chaos

**be gay do witchcraft**

luzura: i’m gonna give y’all a scene and you guys have to tell me what you would do in it

illusion man: ok

luzura: so imagine

luzura: ur waiting in line at the grocery store with your mom right

luzura: and she says that she’s gonna grab something and brb

luzura: so you wait for her

luzura: and then suddenly ur next in line

luzura: and my mom still isn’t back

luzura: sorry i meant ur mom

luzura: and then it’s your turn in line

luzura: and the person asks for ur id bc there’s wine in the cart

luzura: so you have to tell him “actually i’m waiting for my mom” and so you have to awkwardly wait there for like two more minutes until ur mom finally comes back

luzura: what would you do

plant ladie: wow

amity: that’s suspiciously detailed

illusion man: yeah wonder why

luzura: answer the question

amity: idk i’d probably excuse myself and call my mom

plant ladie: yeah same

illusion man: i’d ask them if they could like call my mom over the speaker things

luzura: do y’all wanna know what i did

illusion man: yes

luzura: i panicked and asked them “do you listen to mother mother too”

luzura: surprisingly they said yeah

luzura: now we’re friends

plant ladie: oh sweet

plant ladie: what’s their name and pronouns?

luzura: their name is king and their pronouns are he/they

amity: yo king is such a cool name

illusion man: yeah like royalty

plant ladie: did you get his number?

luzura: yep

luzura: omg should i make a gc with them

amity: yes yes yes

luzura: kk gimme a sec

luzura: also they somehow know eda

plant ladie: really?

luzura: yeah he’s an orphan and she was his foster mom for a while

luzura: but then they got adopted by someone else

luzura: when i asked eda abt it she looked rlly sad so just don’t bring it up

.

**luz created a chat with amity, willow, gus, and king**

luz: helloooo

king: hey

king: are these your friends

luz: yep!

luz: well amity’s my gf too

king: nice

luz: guys introduce urself

amity: hey i’m amity and i go by any pronouns

willow: i’m willow and my pronouns are she/they

gus: gus

luz: yes

gus: oh yeah my pronouns are he/they too

gus: twins

king: pog

luz: no cishet ppl here

luz: i should add y’all to the mother mother gc

amity: oh yeah we prob should

luz: i’ll do it later

luz: anyways king they already know who u are

king: kk

luz: ok i’m gonna add y’all to the mother mother gc now

.

**ppl who listen to mother mother**

**luz added willow, gus, and king**

luz: i found more

em to the b: ah more ppl

em to the b: hey gays

king: hey

ed is kool: woah ur name is king that’s so fucking cool

king: thanks dude

king: i like to think of myself as the king of demons

ed is kool: hold on that's poggers

luz: yeah king is v poggers

amity: king what grade are you in

gus: yeah luz told us that you worked at a grocery store so

king: oh yeah i’m in college

em to the b: sweet so are ed and i

king: oh nice

gus: i keep messing up this mission in gta i’m gonna throw myself off of a cliff /hj

luz: what mission are you on

gus: i have to fly this helicopter with a nerve agent in it and i’m not responsible enough for this

gus: I KEEP CRASHING IT FUCK THIS

gus: just jumped out of a helicopter a thousand feet in the air how we feeling

king: r u using a controller or keyboard 

gus: keyboard

king: yeah it’s harder to drive and stuff with a keyboard

king: you should try and find a controller

gus: yeah i prob should

gus: but i like to make life difficult

king: understandable

amity: can't you just skip the mission if you mess up enough

gus: yeah what abt it

ed is kool: maybe,,, use that,,,

gus: so i landed it but now the cops are after me

luz: wh

luz: did you like kill someone right after you finished the mission???

gus: well

amity: omfg

gus: THEY WERE IN THE WAY

luz: GUS YOU CANT JUST KILL SOMEONE AND NOT EXPECT TO BE CHASED BY THE POLICE

gus: WELL IM SORRY I THOUGHT THEY WOULD BE NICE FOR ONCE

gus: BUT IT TURNS OUT I WAS WRONG

king: we stan

em to the b: hell yeah

ed is kool: yes

king: also em and ed, i noticed that ed’s name says he’s cool but em’s doesn’t, does this mean that ed is cool and em isn’t

em to the b: oh hell no

**em to the b changed their name to em (the kooler twin)**

ed is kool: rude

em (the kooler twin): i can't let you be cooler than me

amity: hah

**em (the kooler twin) changed amity’s name to gay (wtf)**

gay (wtf): help how do i change it i forgot

luz: you don’t

luz: good luck

gay (wtf): WH

willow: wait i have the perfect name for amity

**willow changed gay (wtf)’s name to 👁👁**

👁👁: i

willow: that is what you are yes

👁👁: i hate it here

luz: WHY WONT THE GODDAMN SCHOOL WEBSITE LOAD

luz: FUCJ THIS

king: wow you guys have a lot of fun here huh

gus: yep

gus: also luz i think the website is gonna be down for a bit

luz: aw man

👁👁: FOUND IT

**👁👁 changed their name to amity**

amity: haha take that suckers

**luz changed amity’s name to cutie**

cutie: who gave you the right

luz: me

**cutie changed their name to amity**

em (the kooler twin): guys can i add my friend

em (the kooler twin): they’re a nonbinary lesbian

gus: ooh yeah

willow: are they like ur partner orrrr

em (the kooler twin): i mean

amity: 👁👁

em (the kooler twin): no bullying

**em (the kooler twin) added nonvinary**

nonvinary: hey!

luz: heyyyyyy

luz: r u emira’s partner

nonvinary: h

luz: logical answer thank you

nonvinary: you are very welcome

amity: what’s your name?

nonvinary: viney!

amity: omg pause that’s such a cool name

nonvinary: ty :D

em (the looker twin): viney hiiiiiii

nonvinary: hiiiiiiiii

em (the kooler twin): hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

ed is kool: shuuutttt the fuuuucccckkkkk uuuuuuppppp

gus: HSJDHAJDBA

willow: harsh

luz: amity where’d you go i miss you

amity: i’m still here dumbass

luz: i misss youuuuuu

amity: you called me an hour ago to tell me the same thing???

luz: an hour is like a bajillion seconds

amity: wh

ed is kool: everyone here is so gay

willow: ed you can’t say anything i saw you flirting with jerbo yesterday

ed is kool: well obvi bc we’re dating

ed is kool: OH WAIT

willow: AHA

ed is kool: YOU TRICKED ME

gus: OOOOOOOO

luz: ED HOW DID YOU FALL FOR THAT

ed is kool: SHUT UP

amity: wait i think i have jerbo’s number lemme add them

**amity added jerbio**

ed is kool: hey siri what’s the least painful way to die

jerbio: what’s this

luz: a one-way passage to hell

jerbio: makes sense

nonvinary: i’ve been here for like five minutes and i can already feel all of my braincells crying in pain

king: same

willow: that’s just the effect we have on people

gus: yeah we’re just that powerful

amity: it’s almost three am i’m going to sleep

luz: loser

amity: pain

willow: yeah i’m gonna sleep too

amity: i think ed and em fell asleep

luz: yeah maybe we should sleep

gus: good idea

luz: ok gn luv you guys

amity: luz you too

amity: luv*

amity: i give up

willow: lmao gn ilyt

gus: night luv you too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so the only reason gta is mentioned here is bc i've been playing gta and my brother got a cheat thing so now i can't die in it lmao. and the mission that gus did was so fucking hard i cannot for the life of me figure out how to land a helicopter


	12. heathers and she ra make a guest appearence

**be gay do witchcraft**

luzura: it’s missing she ra hours

plant ladie: aw man

illusion man: i miss it too

illusion man: when am i gonna get my fav catgirl back😔

luzura: ikr😔

amity: i haven’t watched that show yet

amity: i heard it’s good tho

luzura: WHAT

luzura: NEXT TIME YOU COME OVER WE’RE GONNA WATCH SHE RA THE WHOLE TIME

plant ladie: aw you two are like adora and catra

amity: is catra the cat

illusion man: yeah (cat)ra

amity: oh makes sense

amity: is luz the cat

illusion man: no ur the cat

amity: what i’m allergic tho

plant ladie: suffer

amity: gotcha

luzura: are we gonna have a problem

amity: huh

luzura: you got a bone to pick

illusion man: candy store

plant ladie: heathers

luzura: UGGGHHH HOW’D YOU GET IT SO QUICK

illusion man: we’re crazy theater kids, what did you expect

plant ladie: fr

luzura: i have wap stuck in my head

luzura: living the life

amity: do you even know what the song means

luzura: not really actually i just like the song

plant ladie: oh honey

luzura: hm

plant ladie: luz

plant ladie: listen to the lyrics very carefully

luzura: i don’t,, get it,,,

amity: good

illusion man: guys i think i mgith

illusion man: will be passing away

luzura: rest in peaces

illusion man: wrong pieces

luzura: no pieces is the zodiac sign

illusion man: no that’s pisces

luzura: pisces

luzura: but pisces looks so weird

luzura: why are you passing away

illusion man: saw,,,, pretty boy,,

plant ladie: did you talk to him

illusion man: no he was busy

illusion man: HE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW I EXIST WHY DO I ALREADY HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM

amity: i call it the gay agenda

luzura: so true

plant ladie: is this the same dude u were talking about like a month ago

illusion man: yep

plant ladie: you need to talk to him

plant ladie: better now than never

illusion man: says you, haven’t you had a crush on skara since sixth grade?

plant ladie: WE’RE GETTING OFF TOPIC

luzura: STOP RUNNING AWAY FROM YOUR PROBLEMS WILLOW

plant ladie: NO THANK YOU

amity: skara told me she’s pan so you have a shot at it

plant ladie: fuck yeah

plant ladie: sorry didn’t mean to say that

illusion man: go for it

plant ladie: only if you do

illusion man: bitch try me

illusion man: i’ll talk to him tomorrow and then you’ll have to talk to skara

plant ladie: pause the mfing music

plant ladie: i have to talk to her

illusion man: yes that is what i said

plant ladie: hmmm

plant ladie: how about you talk to the dude and i don’t do anything

illusion man: that wouldn’t be fair

plant ladie: i’ll buy u iced coffee for free for the rest of the year

illusion man: that’s a horrible deal, it’s november

illusion man: but i’m taking it

illusion man: coffee here i come

amity: willow what have you done

plant ladie: i have no idea and at this point i’m too afraid to ask

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i got like four hours of sleep last night i feel POWERFUL


	13. IM SORRY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is my "i'm sorry" chapter

**gay cat supremacy**

amity: luz has to stop giving me presents whenever purr sees me

luz: no u deserve them

amity: bitch if anything you deserve them

amity: ily but pls stop wasting ur money on me

luz: it’s not a waste >:(

amity: i’d be fine with a bag of mcdonalds

luz: coming over with a bag of micky dee’s

em (the kooler twin): bring ed and i some

luz: will do

willow: guys it’s like three am pls go to sleep

luz: you go to sleep

willow: i’ve been asleep y’all just woke me up

luz: go back to sleep this is a threat

willow: don’t have to tell me twice

willow: but u guys make sure you get at least six hours of sleep

willow: we don’t have school tomorrow so sleep in pls

amity: was already planning on it ty willow

willow: yw now goodnight

amity: gn

luz: goodnight!!

em (the kooler twin): gn willow!

ed is kool: luz are you here yet

luz: yeah 

luz: amity open ur window

amity: give me a sec this house is old and i don’t want to break it

luz: ok i’m here ed and em come get ur juice

ed is kool: On My Way!

ed is kool: fuck off autocorrect

luz: fdlsjflakf

.

**ppl who listen to mother mother**

nonvinary: wake up homos i have news

em (the kooler twin): hello i have arrived

amity: yeah what’s up

luz: heyyyy

willow: wh

jerbio: hey

ed is kool: bark

gus: ed why

nonvinary: so basically

nonvinary: i got a cat

nonvinary: i have no idea how to take care of her

luz: CAT

amity: OH MY GOD YOU GOT A CAT???

gus: YO CAN WE SEE

nonvinary: yeah sure let me find her

nonvinary: angrycat.jpg

amity: LSJF

amity: SHES SO SMALL

em (the kooler twin): mittens i didn’t know u like cats

amity: they own my soul

ed is kool: folks i present to you, a lesbian

amity: thank you thank you but back to the cat

amity: WHATS HER NAME

nonvinary: gary

amity: …

amity: gary is a visual a representation of what my brain looks like

willow: tell me why that makes so much sense

luz: can i pet cat

nonvinary: yes you may come over if you are asking

em (the kooler twin): ROAD TRIPPPPP

gus: FUCK YEAAAAHHH

jerbio: i’m already at their house y’all are slow

ed is kool: maybe ur just too fast

jerbio: i mean i do live next door to viney so

em (the kooler twin): i will admit with complete honesty that i am using this as an excuse to see my partner

amity: same

ed is kool: same

luz: same

willow: damn i wish i had a gf

amity: maybe if you actually talked to skara

willow: NO FUCK OFF

amity: CHILL

willow: i will be coming to viney’s house as well so that i can destroy amity

amity: spare me

gus: i will be coming as well bc i need to see this

luz: ROAAADDD TRRRIIIPPPP

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i haven't been in the right mindset lately so i will be taking a break from most of my fics. the making fics out of quotes and poems one will still be going bc it's a great place for me to vent lol. anyways i'm really sorry but don't expect a chapter very soon. when i do update, it won't be very consistent. again, i am sorry, school has been kicking my ass lately.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this story is set with no corona btw
> 
> (just thought i'd let yall know)

**be gay do witchcraft**

luzura: bark

plant ladie: what was the reason

luzura: idk man it just felt necessary

plant ladie: understood, have a nice day

illusion man: y’all my dad just told me to take the fish on a walk

luzura: HSDFALFJDSKLA WHAT

illusion man: I DON’T THINK HE’S JOKING OH NO

plant ladie: KSALFJKA

amity: what the fuck

luzura: gotta make sure ur fish is staying in shape

illusion man: so true

plant ladie: are you actually gonna take it on a walk tho

illusion man: i mean

plant ladie: gus

illusion man: he lives in a tank! he deserves to see the world!

plant ladie: he is going to die if you let him see the world

plant ladie: it’s like tangled but with a fish

illusion man: “rapunzel rapunzel let down ur hair!”

illusion man: *fish shit falls out of the window*

illusion man: “WHAT THE FUCK”

luzura: FDSALFJDKLSAJF

amity: SAFJDSAL

illusion man: on the topic of rapunzel, what are you guys being for halloween

amity: how does that have anything to do with rapunzel

illusion man: because i want to be rapunzel for halloween

amity: as you should

plant ladie: i was gonna be a banana

luzura: i am an otter with a darkside

amity: djfklas that’s cute

amity: i’m not allowed to go to halloween this year

luzura: why not??

amity: i got a b on a test so my parents said that i have to study more

plant ladie: fuck that we’re sneaking you out

amity: wh

amity: nO

illusion man: YES

luzura: HAHA YES

amity: this is a terrible idea

plant ladie: that is what we are known for

luzura: can i kick ur parent's asses when we get there

amity: honey i am very sorry but no you cannot

illusion man: we can distract them with cats

amity: great idea i agree

luzura: CATS

luzura: amity we should match

luzura: OMG

luzura: WHAT IF WE ALL MATCHED

plant ladie: YEAH

illusion man: YES

amity: ooh yes

luzura: what is an iconic friend group that we could do

luzura: hmmmm

luzura: how about we all dress up as

luzura: GHOSTBUSTERS

illusion man: JSDLAFJ YES

plant ladie: YEAH

amity: OOH

luzura: do y’all wanna meat up at spirit halloween

amity: meat

luzura: shut up you know what i meant

plant ladie: sure it’s only a walk away anyway

illusion man: yeah same

amity: luz r u gonna take your car

luzura: yeah why

amity: i’m way too far to walk, can you pick me up?

luzura: ofc!

plant ladie: so when is the wedding

amity: FJSLFJDSKA NO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i left for like two days but i am back bitches


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter bc im using my phone and my wrists hurt ddhkshd

**ppl who listen to mother mother**

luz: WHO ALLOWED AMITY TO BE THAT PRETTTY????

luz: IM LITERALLY GONNA DIE WHAT THE FUCK

willow: luz

luz: FUCK WRONG GC

ed is kool: HDKSGDJSHSHDJ BLEASE

jerbio: the gay yearning we stan

king: so true luz

amity: h

gus: h

em (the kooler twin): h

nonvinary: h

willow: h

amity: SHUT UP AND LET ME BE GAY IN PEACE

em (the kooler twin): NO NOW GIVE ME TEN DOLLARS

amity: WHY?????

em (the kooler twin): I WANT STARBUCKS

amity: BITCH GET YOUR OWN STARBUCKS

em (the kooler twin): HATER

luz: ah siblings

gus: don’t think we forgot about what happened a minute ago

luz: but u did forget

luz: it was all a dream

luz: never happened

willow: i could literally scroll up a little bit and it would be right there

luz: then don’t

luz: problem solved

willow: great idea i never thought of it

luz: ikr i’m a jeanius

jerbio: …

jerbio: what

luz: i don’t know how to spell jenouuis 

nonvinary: genius??

luz: yes that is i

gus: sigh

gus: back to luz being their gay ass

**amity has left the chat**

ed is kool: coward

**ed is kool added amity to the chat**

king: luz say something

luz: HI AMITY I LOVE YOU

amity: LOVE YOU TOO WHATS HAPPENING

luz: IDK ANYMORE

amity: OK GOOD TO KNOW

willow: JDKDHDJDJSH

em (the kooler twin): viney this could be us but u playing

nonvinary: girl i’m just trying to take care of my cat

em (the kooler twin): may i come over to see cat again

nonvinary: you just want to see me don’t you

em (the kooler twin): woah how’d you know

nonvinary: babe

em (the kooler twin): yeah

nonvinary: you know what- nvm

king: guys did i tell u that i’m in france rn

willow: why tf are you in france

king: i wanted a bagguteue leave me alone

king: idk how to spell it

gus: you went to france,,, for a baguette??

king: mhm

luz: valid

ed is kool: grab me one

king: will do

luz: poui poui

amity: istg

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again, i am using my phone so pls tell me if the formatting is wonky


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i do in fact believe in poly willow

_be gay do witchcraft_

illusion man: i just burnt my sghetti

luzura: *mr loverman starts playing*

plant ladie: HSAFD

amity: PLS I WAS JUST CRYING TO THAT SONG

luzura: WHLAJWHAT

amity: I READ A BOOK AND IT REMINDS ME OF IT FUCK OFF

luzura: JKLSASDFOIUW

plant ladie: rip gus’ sghetti

luzura: rip

amity: rip

luzura: saklIEJFLmnso3924l’jas;fj.ewi924pwjfHDJKLSA’jsdlafewrtjoi2390vbgis890328#(N ()(@’

illusion man: wha

luzura: SORRY I DROPPED MY PHONE DOWN THE STAIRS

plant ladie: how did you do that by dropping ur phone down the stairs??????

luzura: i think you underestimate just how clumsy i am

plant ladie: i totally do

illusion man: UPDATE THE SGHETTI IS ON FIRE I REPEAT THE SGHETTI IS ON FIRE

amity: HOW DID YOU SET SPAGHETTI ON FIRE AREN’T YOU SUPPOSED TO COOK IT IN WATER?????????

illusion man: YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO COOK IT IN WATER??????@!#(FJ)(*#()*&)!@Q)(&???!!

plant ladie: YEAH???!?!!!???

luzura: WHAT DID YOU COOK IT IN???

illusion man: OIL

amity: WH

amity: OMFG

illusion man: WHAT DO I DO WHAT DO I DO

plant ladie: DON'T PUT WATER ON IT

illusion man: OKAY GOOD TO KNOW

plant ladie: HOLD ON I'M CURRENTLY SPRINTING TO UR HOUSE

luzura: IM

amity: GUS IS THE FIRE BAD

illusion man: UHHHHH IDK

luzura: HE’S STILL ALIVE SO THAT’S GOOD

plant ladie: woo ok we got it

plant ladie: that could’ve been bad lmao

luzura: let’s all agree to never let gus cook again

amity: agreed

plant ladie: agreed

illusion man: agreed

.

_hello lgbtq community_

luzura: hmmmmmm

luzura: amity blight.

luzura: amity noceda?

luzura: luz blight?

luzura: luz noceda-blight?

luzura: amity blight-noceda?

luzura: thinking,,,,,,

plant ladie: gayass

luzura: THIS IS HYPOCRISY

plant ladie: AT LEAST I DON’T PINE OVER SKARA AND BOSCHA 25/8

luzura: ooh boscha too?

plant ladie: that wasn’t intentional

plant ladie: ignore that

illusion man: i’m in a gc with morons

luzura: stfu ur the one who nearly burnt down ur house by making spaghetti

illusion man: that was so long ago i think it’s time to forget about it

plant ladie: that was an hour ago

illusion man: not if i can help it

luzura: moooommmm gus is gonna disrupt the space time continuum agaaaiiiiinnnn

plant ladie: JLHFDSOFSAFL

illusion man: i wanna make brownies

plant ladie: nope we’re coming over to make sure you don’t burn the house down

illusion man: yknow that’s probably a smart choice

luzura: definitely

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one day i'm just gonna stop updating this fic altogether but i promise that day is not today
> 
> also i haven't updated all i wanted since the beginning of november and i feel really bad but also i have no ideas for it so like. if you've read all i wanted can you like,,,,, tell me if i should update soon bc i feel really bad lsdkafjdlskaf


	17. gus being gay for about 500 words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mattholomule joins the party!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't even know if i spelled mattholomule's name right and i'm too scared to check

**be gay do witchcraft**

amity: gus you like someone right

illusion man: WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WHERE DID YOU EVEN GET THAT IDEA

illusion man: NO I D O N T HAVE A CRUSH ON ANYONE THAT’S ABSURD

illusion man: LOL IMAGINE HAVING A CRUSH ON MATTHOLOMULE WOULDN’T BE ME

illusion man: FUCK

amity: wow that was,,, a roller coaster

luzura: bruh i think gus is more of a gay disaster than amity and that’s saying something

plant ladie: lmao yeah

amity: both of you fuck off

amity: anyways i ran into mattholomule in the store earlier

illusion man: omg did he ask about me

amity: no he told me that i looked sad

amity: he was right of course but it still hurt

luzura: i

illusion man: this isn’t fair

illusion man: when is he gonna ask me out

illusion man: i mean i know i never talk to him and he probably has no idea that i exist but still

plant ladie: maybe,, you should try to talk to him,,,

illusion man: maybe,, you should try to talk to skara or boscha,,,

plant ladie: sleep with one eye open

illusion man: this is me slander

luzura: two bros chilling in a hot tub

luzura: five feet apart because they’re both gay and too scared to make the first move

amity: OH MATTHOLOMULE IS IN MY CLASS

illusion man: WHY IS HE IN UR CLASS??

amity: i have no fucking clue but i’m gonna go talk to him

illusion man: nO

plant ladie: this is ur chance gus! amity, ask matt about gus

amity: kk

luzura: WOO MATCHMAKING!

illusion man: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

illusion man: before i die from embarrassment, i would like to say that i am very gay.

luzura: yes you are

amity: ok so

illusion man: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

amity: i asked about you and he said, and i quote, “yeah i like gus. he’s smart and really handsome”

illusion man: AAAAJHSALOSIFPOEOMVALYEOPWRU092838409U23()$*@fw:ijo:f*()#$&*)@????g”k????

luzura: amity you killed gus

amity: cope

amity: he asked for ur number gus

amity: can i give i to him

illusion man: add him the the catra gc i don’t wanna do this alone

amity: will do

plant ladie: this is gonna be interesting

.

**gay cat surpremacy**

**amity added Mattholomule**

em (the kooler twin): who’s that

ed is kool: that’s the freshman who’s supposed to be in middle school

em (the kooler twin): oh so like gus?

ed is kool: yeah pretty much

Mattholomule: Why am I here

luz: bc gus is here

Mattholomule: Oh hey Gus

gus: hi

amity: gus we’re trying to help you out here ur not helping

gus: WELL IDK WHAT TO SAY

willow: i’ll start then

willow: hey matt what’s up

Mattholomule: Uh nothing much

Mattholomule: I’m just sitting in a coffee shop right now

willow: which one?

Mattholomule: I forgot the name but it’s the one a block away from the school

luz: DUDE MY STEP MOM OWNS THAT PLACE

luz: HOLD UP WE’RE THERE RN

luz: STAY WHERE YOU ARE

gus: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

em (the kooler twin): liar, ed and i are at home

amity: i asked you guys if you wanted to come but you said no

ed is kool: shhh

willow: we are the best wingmen ever

amity: we really are

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so i watched the dragon prince and now i have a crush on rayla.  
> SHE'S SO CUTE AND FOR WHAT?????? THIS ISN'T FAAAAIIRRRRRRRRRRR  
> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
> 
> (also i keep forgetting to work on all i wanted i am so sorry sjafjkalf)


	18. omg a date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for taking so long to update ive been really busy!! i hope all of you had a great holiday and new years :)

**be gay do witchcraft**

luzura: hey y’all i’m here with my best friend

luzura: best friend show em your moves

luzura: go

plant ladie: (┌・。・)┌

amity: ヽ(*ﾟｰﾟ*)ﾉ

illusion man: ヘ(^_^ヘ)

luzura: ooh yuh get it i guess

luzura: ok i’m next

luzura: best friend, get the camera

luzura: dougie, hype me up

luzura: (∫˘▽˘)∫ (σ‾▿‾)-σ

illusion man: WOOO GO LUZ

plant ladie: YUH GET INTO IT

amity: YESSS BEST FRIEND GOOOO

luzura: us right now: (~￣▽￣)~(〜￣▽￣)〜〜(￣▽￣〜)~(￣▽￣~)

plant ladie: LKSAJF AS WE SHOULD

amity: KAKSSKDLA

illusion man: squiggle

**luzura changed illusion man”s name to squiggle**

squiggle: gasp

squiggle: i love it so much

luzura: you’re welcome best friend

squiggle: thank you best friend

amity: just saw a pretty person,,, cries

luzura: gasp who was it

amity: you

luzura: BIGGER GASP

luzura: AMITY THAT WAS GAY :O

amity: OMG REALLY I WOULDNT HAVE KNOWN

amity: i say this as girl in red plays on spotify

amity: sigh

plant ladie: oh no gay people

squiggle: oh no

luzura: ahhh rainbows kissing uhh

luzura: gay stuff

amity: omg so scary

plant ladie: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

squiggle: speaking of gay stuff i have a date with mattholomule tomorrow and i am *scared*

plant ladie: OMG REALLY

squiggle: yeah we’re going to the movies

luzura: what movie

squiggle: actually i don’t know

amity: gus if he breaks your heart i will personally kill him for you

plant ladie: okay let’s not start the death threats just yet

amity: i have my flamethrower ready

squiggle: AMITY NO ARSON

amity: IVE DONE IT BEFORE I CAN DO IT AGAIN

luzura: OOOKAY AMITY GO OUTSIDE AND CALM DOWN

luzura: THE FIREFIGHTERS ALREADY HATE US ENOUGH AS IT IS

plant ladie: WHAT DID YOU TWO DO

luzura: UHHHHH NOTHING

squiggle: turns out i had the date wrong and the movie date is TODAY

amity: oop good luck

luzura: what time?

plant ladie: i can drive you if you need me to

squiggle: it’s in like an hour and yeah willow that would be great

plant ladie: ok i’ll come over rn and drive you in like thirty minutes

squiggle: cool cool

luzura: good luck on ur date gus!!

amity: yeah dont set your popcorn on fire

squiggle: THAT WAS ONE TIME

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that best friend thing has been stuck in my head for three weeks send help


	19. not a chapter sorry

omg im so sorry for not updating for so long but i've kinda maybe lost interest in the owl house. ITS OK THO BC IM PROBABLY GONNA GET OBSESSED AGAIN WHEN S2 COMES OUT!!

anyways uhhhh idk what else to say,,,

ive been watching more anime lately and i really like ouran high school host club and haikyuu!!

that's all i had to say. again, im sorry but this probably wont get any more chapters until season two comes out. same with all my other fics. also the owl house fandom has been really scary lately like i would scroll through the owl house tag here and all i see is smut?? like did people really forget that they're literally minors :/

ok well bye!


End file.
